Graduation Day

Pin It So, I told you it was coming, and sure enough, it did.

No, I am not referring to Hurricane Irene. (Which, oddly enough,  I did not predict.)

I refer to my husband getting kicked out of rehab.

Cardio rehab.

They like to call it Graduation Day.

We like to call it: all insurance will cover.

He went for his very last workout at Cardio Rehab, and then, complete with Cap and Gown, came the pictures.

Here he is, The Graduate.

If he's The Graduate, that must make me Mrs. Robinson. Keh keh kachoo.

Yes, that really is a heart tassel. :-D

And, the class from which he is graduating:

Note the Georgia Bulldogs T-shirt, carefully selected for Graduation Day. Don't think he didn't think about that.

If this class had a valedictorian, it would be The Big Bison, according to his classmates. All the guys came up and told me how much he'd encouraged and inspired them to do their best.

When I think where he was when he entered this class, I almost shudder. It's still a little too fresh. I had to drive him, because he was still on pain meds. I sat in the waiting room and worried that the phone in there was going to ring and they were going to tell me that he'd had another event.

But he didn't, and we're thankful. Some of his classmates have had two or three runs at rehab, and, of course, our goal is for him to never, ever darken that door again.

Nobody wants to go through rehab again.

God bless the rest of his class members as they finish out their time in rehab.

We remain grateful for the grace that has been shown to us on this journey.

One More Reason To Do Your Kegels

Pin It AND a super exercise to help you do them!

To all my faithful male readers:

The blog post is ended. Go in peace. Thanks for stopping by, and I promise to try to never embarrass or throw you out like this again.

 (Actually, you're welcome to stay if you like. This COULD happen to someone you love, and you need to know how to help that sweet woman.)

For all my female friends:

Let's get our giggles out of the way first. Image from here. 

I recently learned more about a condition that I knew very little about. The condition of which I speak is pelvic organ prolapse. It's a condition that seems to be somewhat taboo or shameful for us women to talk about. I can only imagine how frightening it might be to have it occur. But it happens more frequently than you might guess.

I don't even really want to talk about it, much, actually.

On yesterday's (re-run) Dr. Oz show, Dr. Oz talked about Pelvic Organ Prolapse, and invited three female urogynecologists to explain it. Basically, it's a female hernia. It's when one of 3 of your OTHER pelvic organs (either your bladder, your rectum, or your uterus) that surround the vagina, pushes into one of the walls of the vagina, and actually protrudes out of the opening of the vagina.

AGHHHH!!!

Are you shocked?

I admit, I kind of was! I've known a couple of women who had problems of this nature, but I never fully understood what was going on with them, physiologically speaking,  until I watched Dr. Oz's show yesterday.

So...(and let me cut to the chase, here, for the reason for this post)...how can you and I help prevent having this condition? Do the super kegel plus exercises that are in this post! Do them today! Do them often!

My friends and I have joked for years about the importance of doing kegels, and yesterday, I learned a new way to do them.  I thought it would be helpful to pass this info along, despite the fact that this I am NOT a professional in the health field. Dr. Oz is, and this is the method that he and his guest experts in urogynecology recommended.

Since, admittedly, I'm NOT a medical professional, why am I talking about this?

This condition happened recently to a friend's female relative, and neither one of them knew what to do about it. They were horrified, frightened, confused, and ashamed. And I love you all, my friends and readers, enough that I don't want any of you to ever have to:

 #1) go through it,  if it can be prevented

 or

#2) feel the emotions of confusion and fear, thinking that this has never happened to anyone else. According to the information given on the segment, some form of prolapse will happen to almost 50% of women. That is an astonishingly huge statistic!!!

Risk factors for this condition are: the aging process,  childbirth, hysterectomy, and carrying excess weight. All these things can weaken the pelvic floor muscle and the ligaments that support it.

If you want to learn how to prevent it:  go to the 3 minute and 30 second mark of this video, and you will see them demonstrate the Super Kegel. If you have ever practiced the kegel exercise, and been uncertain you are doing it correctly, this version of it will leave you with no doubt. It gets the job done.

Pelvic prolapse may be the last taboo subject in gynecology. Although many people find this topic too shameful to discuss, almost 50% of women will...

(Click on the picture, and it will take you to the video on the Dr. Oz website.)

If you'd like to learn more about this seldom-publicly-discussed condition,  here's a link to the Doctor Oz show website, where  you'll see a larger video screen, and underneath it are links to Parts 1, 2, and 3 of the entire segment. I'd encourage you to watch all three parts. If it never happens to you, it's statistically very likely it may happen to a sister, friend, mother, or daughter of yours.

Happy Kegeling!

Besto Boonie Pesto

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A bit of butter gives this pesto AMAZING flavor.

We don't grow much here in the Boonies (mainly because we have to pipe in the sunshine) apart from ticks, chiggers, poison ivy, and the occasional rattlesnake. But one thing I can grow is basil. And here it is the end of August, and my basil has yet to give up the ghost. This, in and of itself is a minor miracle.

So, last night, I told my dear husband, the Big Bison, that it was time to make some pesto and for him to snap a few shots. He started whining saying something about the light needed to be such and such, because he and I are reading a book about photography. Well, mostly, he's reading, and I'm looking at the pretty pictures.

So I suggested we try a shoot out on the porch, and he whiningly willingly complied. I got things set up, and then we both stood out there smacking little "no-see-ums" (annoying teeny-weenie stinging bugs that you...um...can't see) on our legs, but we got some nice shots. Well, HE got some nice shots. And "AH HAY-ELPED" (to be read with the voice of the little girl on the Shake and Bake commercial from eons ago).

But YOU want the recipe, right?

Of course right!

I originally found this recipe in The Moosewood Cookbook, which is a famous vegetarian cookbook from the late 70's. My copy is stained and split in half, but I prefer to think of it as very, very REAL. I've made a couple of alterations that I think help.

I've always called this Killer Pesto, but last night while I was on the phone with my friend Anne, she said "Besto Pesto" and snickered, and I did, too. So I'm wavering on the name. Maybe I'll take a poll in the comments, and you can weigh in on this important issue.

Assembled ingredients: they call this "mise en place", kids.

Besto Boonie Pesto

4 packed cups fresh basil leaves, washed, dried, removed from stems
3 large garlic cloves
1/2 c. toasted pine nuts (lightly brown them in a skillet on the stove top - only takes a New York minute)(you can substitute most any kind of nut you prefer, if pine nuts don't float your boat)
3/4 c. packed fresh chopped parsley (I didn't have any last night, and it turned out fine)
3/4 c. freshly grated parmesan
1/2 c. olive oil
1/4 c. melted butter
salt to taste (maybe a 1/2 teaspoon? Taste it and see.)
several grinds of black pepper

Assemble all your ingredients, and then combine everything in a food processor (or blender). I like my pesto with a bit of "tooth" (kind of grainy), but you might like yours with a smoother texture, so process for as long as you think you should. Toss with hot, drained pasta. I like linguini with pesto.

Adding butter.

Adding oil

Whirring

Yummy.

So what do you think: Besto Pesto? Killer Pesto? Boonie Pesto? "Git In My Belly"? Or something original of your own? Please weigh in on this important issue: Name That Pesto!

You Find What You're Looking For

Pin It Continuing on in my reading of Luke, yesterday, I picked up Luke chapter 6, and here's what I read in the first eleven verses. 

Wheat image from here.

 ¹ One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grainfields, and his disciples began to pick some heads of grain, rub them in their hands and eat the kernels. ² Some of the Pharisees asked, “Why are you doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?”

 ³ Jesus answered them, “Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? ⁴ He entered the house of God, and taking the consecrated bread, he ate what is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions.” ⁵Then Jesus said to them, “The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.”

 ⁶ On another Sabbath he went into the synagogue and was teaching, and a man was there whose right hand was shriveled. ⁷The Pharisees and the teachers of the law were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal on the Sabbath. ⁸ But Jesus knew what they were thinking and said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Get up and stand in front of everyone.” So he got up and stood there.

 ⁹ Then Jesus said to them, “I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?”

 ¹⁰ He looked around at them all, and then said to the man,“Stretch out your hand.” He did so, and his hand was completely restored. ¹¹ But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law were furious and began to discuss with one another what they might do to Jesus.

In this passage of Luke, Jesus is tying to get the message through that He is not who they think He is. He is not just some great teacher. He is more. And if they have not yet figured that out: it's time to start.

Jewish law, and even more so Jewish tradition, in regard to what constituted "doing work" on the Sabbath, had become so carefully defined, that the whole meaning, the whole purpose of having a Sabbath, was in danger of becoming lost amidst the intricate demands of keeping the traditions. 

Why did God institute the Sabbath? Was it just so they'd have a day full of "no, no" rules, so He could show how strict and holy He was? Of course not! God made the Sabbath for man. God wanted man to call that day a delight! God designed man, and He recognized that man needed a day of rest and recreation. And what better thing for man to do on that day of rest than to commune with and rejoice in the One who had made him.

But what we see in this passage is a group of very disgruntled guys: the Pharisees. And it appears that they really had a bone to pick with Jesus. Luke tells us that they were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus. And then, after the little incident of the healing, did they rejoice for the miracle they had witnessed? Were they glad for the man's sake? No: instead, they realized they REALLY had a problem on their hands, ("This guy is NOT going to play by our rules") and they began to discuss "what they might do to Jesus." And the other gospels spell it out a little more plainly: "how they might kill Jesus".

Wow! What could incite that kind of a response?

The Pharisees were "the powers that be" in Jesus' society. And Jesus was rocking the boat. Rattling their cages. Dangerously toying with unsettling their power base, knocking them out of their position of authority with Rome, and with the people. And apparently: this could not be tolerated. Something had to be done.

Ooooooooooh, those evil, evil Pharisees.

I'm sure glad I'm not like THEM! How about you???

So...I got to thinking....

Have you ever gone to church on Sunday morning and gotten so mad at something that was going on that you felt like taking your shoe off and hurling it up at the stage, like that Iraqi reporter threw his at George Bush? 

No? 

~blushes madly~

I thought not. 

Me neither!!! Of course not!!! :-D

(I have GOT to look into taking kickboxing classes.)

OK, maybe I overstated my case a bit, so let me ratchet it down a notch or two.

Have you ever driven home from church and spent a certain amount of time criticizing...

the sermon

the worship

the song choices

the Sunday School class

the Sunday School teacher

the style of dress of someone on the church staff

the style of dress of someone in the audience

the logistics of the setup

the whatevah (insert your pet issue here)

Is there someone/something that just gets under your craw, and you're almost looking for that person or thing to goof up again?

The Pharisees were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus. They were watching him closely to see if he WOULD heal on the Sabbath, something they considered to be a violation of the law.

If we cut to the heart of the matter in the Sabbath, what does God want from us? 

He wants us to set aside a day each week where we remember Him, and where we delight in Him, and where we give our weary bodies a bit of a rest, so that we can come back to the work week fully recharged and revitalized and, well, re-created. What Jesus did in no way violated that law. In fact, He fulfilled the principal behind the Sabbath.

And if we cut to the heart of the matter with the Pharisees, what was their issue? 

They were missing the GOOD that was being done. Because they were so bound up in maintaining their own positions of power, in having things done the way they liked, the way they understood that things should be, keeping all the manmade rules, in the way that made them comfortable. So much so, that the attitude of their heart turned...well...ultimately, murderous.

Now I'm not saying you're planning on killing anybody at church next Sunday. But...

What I want you to think about is this: the enemy whispers insidious lies and accusations against our brothers and sisters every day of the week, but I think he pulls a double shift on the Sabbath.

He's been doing this type of thing for a long time.

Let's be careful, my brothers and sisters.

Yes, this is a story about Jesus being greater than the Law. That He is, in fact, the Lord of the Sabbath. Yes, members of His Kingdom should do good and bring freedom and healing, every day of the week.

But it's also a cautionary tale about the critical spirit that LOOKS to catch a brother or sister in a mistake. Those kinds of thoughts, at their core, are murderous.

The challenge to each of us is to look for the good that is being done. (the healing, for example, in Jesus' case) Look for the good. Support the good. Rejoice IN the good. 

I'm not saying we can never engage in criticism: some things NEED to be criticized. But can we do it in such a way that it is constructive? That GOOD is the outcome? So that the enemy is defeated in his purposes to divide, kill, and destroy the very ones that Jesus came to redeem.

P.S. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has ever gotten mad at church...

I'm blamin' the hormones....

Sometimes The Good Die Old

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 I went to a funeral on Saturday.

It was the funeral of a man I have known since a I was a baby. He was a dear friend of my parents, from their college days. He was a kind man, quiet, but brilliant, with a delightful sense of humor. If ever a man lived with a twinkle in his eye, this was that man. His thoughtfulness and attention to detail manifested itself in the giving of gifts tailor-made for the recipient: once he found out you liked something, he looked for ways to surprise you with that special something. He lived a long and extremely fruitful, productive life. His children and his grandchildren actually did rise up and call him blessed. They told stories that did honor to the memory of their father, grandfather, and friend.

I can honestly say that this man, because of his love for the Lord and the beautiful way that he parented,  had a huge impact on my life, although I bet he never knew it.

I've spent the last few days really thinking about that influence, literally charting out the path of my life in a diagram, realizing that strangely enough,  this man had a lot to do with me being where I am today: sitting in front of my computer in the Boonies, a homeschool mom, typing this blog, working on becoming a writer. You'd have to be really interested in me in a stalkerish kind of way for me to take the time to map it out for you.

And neither one of us wants that. :-D

But I will say that I have a renewed sense of destiny this morning. And looking closely, I think I might be tracing out a bit of the providential hand of God on my life.

This good man's daughter told this story about her father at the funeral, and I think it kind alludes to what I'm driving at:

When he was a very young man, near the beginning of World War II,   he attended a pro-baseball game, and as he was entering the stadium, he silently whispered a prayer that he might be able to catch a ball at some point during the game. And then, he waited to see how God might answer that prayer.

Near the end of the game, a player hit the ball, and it was headed straight for him, almost as if his name was on it. He stood up and reached for the ball, but it bounced off his hand, and fell on the floor next to him. The uniformed serviceman he was with reached down and recovered it.

Now, the practice back then was for the team to send a boy up to recover any lost balls, but when the ball retriever saw that a U.S. serviceman had recovered the ball, he smiled, and told him to keep it. And then the serviceman turned and handed the ball back to the young hero of our story.

And the point was, that sometimes, we experience great disappointment in our lives. The young boy saw his dream of catching a ball quite literally bounce off his fingertips and be dashed to the ground. But God had heard his prayer, and cared enough about building this young man's faith, that He allowed him to receive his dream in a bigger and better way, albeit a different way than the young man had imagined it. He got to KEEP the ball, which never would have happened had he caught it.

How does this apply to me? And maybe to you?

As circumstances arise in your life that aren't according to "the plan" that you've imagined, (and maybe you've got some of those going on right now?), could you be open enough to the providential hand of God working something different, but maybe potentially better for you? Could you have that mustard seed of faith in the love of your Father in heaven to imagine that He really is interested in the good of His children? In YOUR good? Could you be open to the possibility that He is still active on your behalf, although at present, you cannot see it?

I know: sometimes the "good" that He is working in us is just that we are being conformed to the image of Christ, and sometimes that means suffering, and that is a place that few of us welcome with open hands. I tend to take that road kicking and screaming, in fact.

But I will say that the simple trusting faith of this good man has shaped my life in quite subtle but profound ways, and in examining the effects, I have a renewed sense of the providential Hand of the One who loves me, and who loves you, guiding our destiny.

So, what about you? Do you sense destiny or design in your life?

Reflections on The Approaching Hunting Season

Pin It There's one born every minute.

And no, I am not referring to a spike in the deer population.

I reference, of course, that famous quote by P.T. Barnum, that great American showman, businessman and scam artist, he of the Ringling Brothers, and Barnum and Bailey Circus Fame. Barnum is the often quoted source of the famous phrase: "There's a sucker born every minute."

"Adding a Big Bison to my show this year."

But since you're reading this post about hunting season, I am going to take a wild guess and speculate that I might not be the only sucker in these here parts. There might be a few more of you out there who, just as I did,  bought into The Big Lie.

To what Big Lie could she refer, you ask?

This sucker, er, innocent,  bought into the idea her husband cleverly used to sell her on hunting.

Not that he would PURPOSEFULLY try to manipulate me…but….

Here's how it went down.

One day, I was in the kitchen, minding my own business, cooking something that was doubtless both delicious and economical for dinner, because, after all, I'm a pretty good cook, but even more importantly, I know that we aren't made out of money. So part of my job as chief cook and bottle washer is to watch for sales at the grocery store, and keep our food costs down. 

And meat is so expensive. 

In fact, we hardly ever ate red meat, due to the expense, and my own frugality and desire to live within our hard earned means (she said, as she polished up her halo, and batted her eyelashes virtuously).

So, one day, my sweet husband cozies up to me in the kitchen.

Him: "Mmmm. That smells good. Whatcha makin'?"

Me: "Oh…just a roast chicken."

Him: "Mmm. That'll be great….Hey, hon….you know…I've been thinking."

Me: "Mmm hmm" absently, sprinkling spices on the delicious (and cheap!) chicken I'm preparing.

Him: "You know, Steve mentioned the other day that he'd be happy to take me hunting with him. And it occurred to me that hunting might be a really good hobby for me to take up. Because, after all, there's FREE MEAT."

Me: "…hmm…." 

So, I'm standing there, thinking to myself: "Free meat? Free meat sounds good. And our friend Steve IS an expert hunter. He could really teach my man how to be a successful hunter. And then we'd have all that FREE MEAT, and think of the SAVINGS on our food bills through the year. 

Me: "Well…..OK….I guess….that might be good".

Yup.

That's about how it went down, and let me tell you, if there really IS one born every minute, that was my minute.

Because here's how all that FREE MEAT went down that year:

Hunting license - $135.00 

Gun - $175.00 

Ammo - $50.00  

Camo - $50.00

Boots - $ 80.00

(and I think these are VERY conservative estimates)

and lest we forget

Where were we going to STORE all that "FREE MEAT"???

That year, we had to purchase a freezer. $500.00

(Which I honestly am grateful for…but STILL!!!)

And then, there were the "processing fees" once the FREE MEAT had been procured: $75.00

That first year alone, my husband shot a thousand dollar deer. And I thought I was the trophy wife. Harumph.

And then, each year after that there are guns, gadgets and gewgaws that must be added to supplement the arsenal.

Bow - $400 - $800

Arrows - $55

Other Guns - $350

Rain Gear - $65

Blind - $400

Special Shower Soap  - $5.50

Special Laundry Soap - $6.75

Calls - $40 - $50

Decoys of various species - $Who even knows?

In the interests of being charitable, I am not even going to mention that little trip across the continent to hunt elk in Colorado.

Now you might think I'm ungrateful for all the wonderful, delicious game we eat each year. And if you think that, you'd be wrong. I have learned how to cook it, and cook it deliciously. I'm grateful for the health benefits that come from eating meat that is truly free range, and low in fat. I'm grateful for the joy it brings my husband when he comes home from a day in the woods, enjoying God's beautiful creation. I'm grateful for the camaraderie he shares with his hunting buddy, who has become not only a mentor, but a true brother. 

I'm thankful that their friendship has bonded our family closer to the hunting buddy's wife, and to their wonderful children, and grandchildren. Blessing after blessing has come into our life, because I encouraged my dear husband that day to follow his bliss, to pursue a hobby that would bring him joy, and satisfaction.

If I were asked the question all over again, I'd respond the same way. 

It has been totally worth it.

But FREE MEAT???

Not so much.

So what about YOU? Ever bought into a hobby that turned out to cost a whole lot more than you ever dreamed?

(What's that you say? Blogging? Hush! My husband might hear you!!!)

Big Bison Stampedes Through Stress Test

Pin It The man has the heart of a Bison, my husband does.

He did GREAT!!!

(On the stress test I told you he was going to have yesterday.)

He'd want you to know all the facts and figures, because he is, as we all know, the hardest working Man in Rehab. About two weeks after heart bypass surgery, he began a cardio rehab program. Shortly after that, they gave him his first Non-Self-Inflicted Stress Test. 

The man was "de-conditioned"at his very first stress test, back in June. Well, who isn't, after they carve your chest open and shift and burn and stitch stuff in there? Let's just say he was not in peak condition. But he still kept going for 15 minutes. With a 26 VO2 rate, which is indicative of how much oxygen you're sucking. (That's not a great level. That's the part that meant "de-conditioned.")

 But staying on the machine as long as he did was good. The therapist was impressed with his stamina. :-D She told him he probably wouldn't improve that much the next time he took the test.

Them's just fightin' words, to a guy like my husband.

"Oh, really?" he says he thought to himself. "We'll just see about that."

Cardio rehab ends next week. The Bison has had perfect attendance to every session. He is a Bison on a Mission. His desire?

To prove that therapist WRONG.

He worked HARD during his classes. He came home 3x a week with stories of how he'd impressed the nurses that day. Because, he is, after all, a guy, as well as a Big Bison.

Competitive much?

~snicker~

Here are some pictures from yesterday's stress test, in case you've ever wondered what a stress test looks like:

He had two therapists watching him: one watching the monitors that he was hooked up to, and one beside him taking his blood pressure, and ready to help him if he got into trouble, I'd imagine.

First they make you breathe into this thing to check oxygen levels.

Then they put all these probes on your chest. I have a picture...but..nah....that's MY stuff that's getting hooked up, after all.

Giving me the wrong (or ring) finger. Pulse monitor and freaky mask they make you wear.

We're walkin'. The incline he's walking gets steeper and goes faster about every 3 minutes.

See what I mean?

Done: and tuckered!

Well, all that testosterone/competitiveness has paid off. He is VERY fit now, according to the graph they showed us, thank you very much. 35% improvement in Oxygen flow, which the therapist told us was substantial. Sucking a lot of air. It's most impressive.

His new numbers? Stayed on the machine 19 minutes with a 36.3% VO2. The man was sucking all the oxygen out of the room. :-D I exaggerate, a bit. But still, they like to keep pro athletes at a 40% oxygen level, so he's doing very, very well indeed.

In fact, I believe that's the Titans calling now.... (they need some HELP, y'all...)

35% Improvement: Fit/Conditioned and Wishing He Was Well Conditioned, Of Course!

Let's hear it for the boy!!!

Show me a little BisonLove!!!

Hardest Working Man in Rehab to Take Stress Test

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The hardest working man in show business.
Image from here.

My dear husband, The Big Bison, is one hard working man. Yet, he's spent three mornings a week, all summer long, NOT working on his job, which is writing and producing music.

Instead, he's been working on an even more important job: driving to the hospital where he had his bypass surgery after his heart attack on May 16th. He has faithfully attended every. stinking. class. they prescribed for him,  from 9:00AM till noon on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

That's a LOT of time away from one's work week!

When you have your heart surgery done at St. Thomas (and this may be true of every hospital where you have heart surgery - I don't know), when they release you from the hospital to go home,  they also enroll you in an exercise class with other patients who have also had cardiovascular events. They hook you up to machines, and monitor your vitals closely, and teach you how to exercise in such a way that not only does your body heal properly from your surgery, but you also begin to develop and strengthen your heart muscle.

I'd even venture to say The Big Bison is the Hardest Working Man in Rehab.

James Brown would be so proud.

Something there is in this man that loves a challenge. And he has taken this cardio-rehab thing and WORKED it, baby! He invites me to check out the brand new crop of muscles he's growing on a regular basis. (Well, c'mon. I mean it IS fun when you start to notice positive changes in your body. Been there, done that, haven't done that in a while, though.)

So, today, we go for his final Cardio Rehab stress test, and he's all excited about it. Well, he should be! He's worked hard, and he hopes to wow the nurses and staff with whom he has worked for 3 months. (I just hope he doesn't OVERDO it.) Invited me to come along and take PICTURES for crying out loud.

So, I will.

Because I am dang proud of this man.

He has worked hard on his workouts, and he's producing some of the best work musically that he's ever done, as well. He says he feels better than he's felt in years!

I feel good!
Image from here.

After today, he has one more week of class, and then, he has completed his program at St. Thomas.

But the program MUST go on, for life, to give him his best shot at avoiding future events.

So we're shopping for an exercise machine to have here in the Boonies. We'd like to get something that my right knee, (my stupid bum knee) can tolerate as well.

Let me know if you have any thoughts on that matter.

Heirloom Tomato Appetizer: Good Enough to Make You Wanna Smack Your Momma

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My husband calls this: "Git in my BELLY!!!"

Today, I am going to give to you a treasure. It's one of the best things I've ever eaten. It's a recipe that is bruschetta-like, but I don't call it bruschetta. You can, if you want to. Bruschetta, by the way, is grilled bread, usually rubbed with garlic, drizzled with olive oil, and topped with tomatoes and herbs.

Once, my sister was riding home on the bus and the young lady sitting in front of her was talking to her friend about how good something tasted. She said, and I quote, "Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl, it be tastin' so gooooooood, it make you wanna turn around and smack yo' Mama."

Now, I love my Mama. No one holds their Mother in higher esteem than the esteem in which I hold my Mama. But, I'm tellin' you what: if anything COULD make me want to turn around and smack my Mama, this might be it.

And since it is full blown tomato and basil season, MAKE THIS NOW!!! Could I be any clearer?


I served this the night of the Great Reptilian Uninvited Dinner Guest. Now, don't let this put you off, but this is so good, it COULD be what drew him to the door.

A few recipe notes: I'm skimping on the bacon these days due to The Big Bison's (my dear husband's) heart attack, but you might not want to. I'm also going light on olive oil for the same reason. Do what you feel you need to do. You're going to use some of the bacon grease to fry bread in (yes! fry bread!) for flavor. You need enough oil/fat to make a warm vinaigrette, and the ratio is usually 1 part vinegar to 3 parts fat, although some cooks do a 1:4 ratio. To make this more heart healthy, if you already have your grill fired up, you could rub the bread with garlic and then grill it briefly, and then drizzle it lightly with some olive oil. Just giving you options!

Heirloom Tomatoes with Bacon, Fresh Mozzarella and Basil


1 baguette, thinly sliced
4 slices of bacon
6 T. olive oil
1/4 c. finely chopped shallot
3 T. sherry vinegar
4 assorted medium heirloom tomatoes, (2 lbs. total), cut into 1/4 " slices (or chopped cherry tomatoes)
30 small fresh basil leaves
1 ball fresh mozzarella cheese, sliced into medallions that will fit your baguette slices

Cook bacon in a 10" heavy skillet over moderate heat until crisp, then transfer to paper towels to drain. Pour off bacon fat from skillet and reserve fat (do not clean skillet).

Heat 1 1/2 T. oil in skillet over moderate heat, until hot but not smoking. Sauté as many of the baguette slices as will fit in one layer in the pan, turning over once, until golden brown. This takes about 3 minutes. Transfer toasts to a rack to cool and season with salt and pepper. Repeat with remaining baguette slices.

Cook shallot in 2 T. reserved bacon fat and remaining 3 T. oil in a small heavy saucepan over moderate heat, stirring, until softened, about 2 minutes. Add vinegar, and simmer, whisking, until emulsified, about 1 minute. Season dressing with salt and pepper and keep warm, covered.

Crumble bacon. Arrange baguette slices on large plate and place one piece of fresh mozzarella on each piece of toast. Top with tomatoes, sprinkle with basil and bacon. Spoon the warm bacon dressing over and around each slice, and season with salt and pepper.

Oh, you are going to so thank me for this. I offer this, one of my most favorite recipes ever, freely, with the greatest of love. Enjoy!

New Wine

Pin It We can get so hung up on our own external judgment system, can't we?

As you look at your fellow man, do you ever find any of these thoughts running through your mind?

Do you ever wonder if he/she....

parents the "right" way (whatever way we think that is)?
drinks alcohol?  lives a tee-total lifestyle?
listens to the "wrong" kind of music?
allows his/her children to listen to the wrong kind of music?
has tattoos/piercings/ OR allows his/her child to have tattoos/ piercings?
attends the "wrong" denomination (whatever we judge that to be)?
doesn't even attend church at all?
watches movies/read books we have deemed to be godless?
eats that processed crappy junk food? (now I'm just meddlin')
eats only whole foods?
sits in front of the computer all day and never exercises his/her fat bottom-bam-a-lam?
has Jillian Michaels on speed dial?
wears dowdy clothes and never takes care of his/her appearance?
spends way too much money on high fashion clothes and skincare?
lacks education?
has too much book larnin' but not a lick of common sense?
needs a bath and a visit to the dentist?
overindulges in Crest Whitestrips and cologne?
Twitters/Facebooks her life away?
has not a clue in regard to the importance of social media in this day/age?

You name it, we can judge people for it.

We can, and, we do.

It's a funny thing, but the more things change, the more they seem to stay the same.

And judging on the basis of externals is a problem common to man.

The Pharisees were doing it, back in the day, and Jesus called them on it.

I ran into this passage in Luke chapter 5, and it's a little harder for us 21st century folk to relate to, but if you'll hang with me for a moment, I think you'll see what I mean.

Jesus ran into a guy named Levi, who was a tax collector: the most despised profession of his day. They were despised not only because, after all, who likes to pay taxes, but they were Israeli Jews who were in cahoots with the occupational government of Israel: the Romans. Sort of like being a Nazi collaborator in France during Dubyah Dubyah Two (the big one). I was trying to think of what profession we might detest in this day and age and I came up with a lawyer who works for the IRS. I think that ought to cover the poor hapless victims of lawyer jokes (!) and the IRS (!), all in one swell foop.

(My apologies to any and all attorneys, employees of the IRS, and attorneys for the Internal Revenue Service and their spouses, whom I have just offended. Mea culpa.)

Jesus not only stopped to talk to Levi (the IRS attorney), but He also told him to follow Him. Scripture tells us Levi left everything, immediately, and followed Jesus.

Then, Levi was so completely enthralled by Jesus, he decided to throw a huge party and invite all his friends, who happened to be tax collectors, and sinners, a lot like Levi, coincidentally. Amazing how that happens.

So, anyway, they were all having a great time, eating and drinking, Jesus and Levi, and all Levi's friends. But this really bothered the important holy guys, those Titans of the Temple, the Pharisees. You know them today as the Big Kahunas at church.

"WTHeck???" they inquired. "All the other holy guys: their followers fast. What is Jesus THINKING, eating and drinking with the riffraff?"

Jesus' answer to them was that it's only a sick guy who needs a doc, and he had come to call the sick guys to repentance. (Now, if the Pharisees didn't get the fact that they were sick, too, there wasn't much Jesus could do about that. But He decided to give them another opportunity to contemplate that possibility by telling this somewhat-cryptic-to-us-in-the-21st-century story.)

 vs 36 "No one tears a piece out of a new garment to patch an old one. Otherwise, they will have torn the new garment, and the patch from the new will not match the old.

vs. 37 And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. 

vs. 38 No, new wine must be poured into new wineskins. 

vs. 39 And no one after drinking old wine wants the new, for they say, "The old is better."  

This kingdom of God (the new wine)  that Jesus was announcing wasn't a patch to fix Judaism. It could not be contained within the confines of the law: like new wine in old wineskins - the flexibility needed to contain it could not be found within law. 

Maybe the new wineskins were the tax collectors and sinners, and those who realized they WERE sinners. Those who recognized their need for strength and help from somewhere outside themselves. They recognized their own inadequacy.

If you are happy with the old law, you are probably not going to like the coming kingdom, because it is not what you are used to. The kingdom of God is new and vital, and is radically different from the old way of looking at things.

This is the old wine: the law, which looked at externals, and measured holiness by looking at external actions.  With the law, if one had done the external requirements, one could state with assurance: "I am holy…(and, by extension) … he is not". This measurement of self against the standard of the law leads to either a sense of smug self-righteousness, or hopeless despair in one's inability to meet that standard,  in those who are focused on externals. 

But the new wine, which is the kingdom of God reigning inside the heart,  is not like that. In the kingdom of God, all that was necessary to make us righteous has already been done. No righteous external acts of our own will guarantee or demonstrate our salvation. The heart led by the Holy Spirit  ought be a heart filled with humble gratitude, overflowing with love, realizing its dependence on the Father, and then taking action out of that sense of gratitude and love.

And not one busy measuring and judging one's self and others by the externals.

Pass me a glass of that New Wine, if you please, and fill it to the brim, Bartender.

A Change in the World Order

Pin It This morning, I was reading from the gospel of Luke, chapter 5, verses 17-26. Back in February, I read a comparable passage in Mark, and wrote a post about it. But as is so often the case, whenever I go back to read the Bible, I find it meets me (or should I say He - the Holy Spirit - meets me) exactly where I am, and speaks to my present circumstances, right at my point of need.


So, here's the passage that I read, taken from the New International Version.




 ¹⁷ One day Jesus was teaching, and Pharisees and teachers of the law were sitting there. They had come from every village of Galilee and from Judea and Jerusalem. And the power of the Lord was with Jesus to heal the sick. ¹⁸ Some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. ¹⁹ When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.
 ²⁰ When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”
 ²¹ The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, “Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?”
 ²² Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, “Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? ²³ Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? ²⁴ But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” ²⁵ Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. ²⁶ Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, “We have seen remarkable things today.”

Jesus, who was teaching in the northern section of Israel, which was a lot like teaching in the Boonies, (well....minus the ticks and chiggers and poison ivy)  was being examined by religious authorities who weren't just the local boys.  In attendance were the religious experts from the spiritual center of Israel, Jerusalem. Holy Town, and Capital City. The Big Dogs had shown up in the Boonies, just to check him out. Get it?

"The power of the Lord was with Jesus to heal people". I honestly don't know what this means. When was it not? Maybe someone smarter than me can explain that one.

Some very loving and determined friends who were not willing to take no for an answer,  had carried their paralyzed friend to see Jesus. When they couldn't get inside the SRO crowd, they climbed to the rooftop of the house, carrying that friend who was lying paralyzed on the mat, moved the ceiling tiles, and lowered their friend through the roof into the house, in front of Jesus.

 I am picturing a bit of "derring do/get 'er done" attitude on the part of the friends. Maybe like my husband and his buddy when they handled our snake situation: whatever it takes! And maybe just a bit of physical comedy. After all, exactly how bumpy was that poor guy's ride? Was he scared he'd fall off the mat as they climbed to the rooftop? How did his friends know which tiles they needed to remove in order to lower their friend's bed exactly in front of Jesus? 

This picture makes no sense, except that it was as close as I could come to a busted roof.

And what about the guy on the bed: was he scared as he was being lowered down? Was he amused? Thrilled? Excited? 

And then, there were the people below: was plaster and/or dirt falling on their heads? Did daylight suddenly flood the room? What would the uproar have been like if suddenly the filled to capacity room had to have people squishing back even more to make room for a bed???

I see the hidden purpose of Jesus in his very carefully chosen words to the man: "Friend, your sins are forgiven". He knew that saying the man's sins were forgiven would cause a disturbance. He knew there would be nothing but objections in the minds of those Big Dog Religious Authorities who were gathered there. What He chose to say was so far from being politically correct (especially in front of the religious bigshots of His day) that it was considered by them to be heretical. 

But truth it was. 

And "It ain't braggin' if it's the truth."

Simple, astonishing, breath stealing truth.

Jesus had the power to forgive sins.

Jesus HAS the power to forgive sins.

And that is a truth that has such far reaching implications that it has changed civilization itself.

The healing for that one man was completely life changing, for him. But the healing of the relationship between God and all mankind was a change of the order of the entire world.

And Jesus revealed that simple truth, right there, in a little Galilean village, in a home with a busted roof.

What does that mean to you and me?

Jesus has the authority and the power to forgive MY sins, and your sins, too. All of them. Even the darkest ones that you've never confessed publicly. The ones that cause you to tremble at the thought of what might happen if other people knew. Even the ones we've committed after encountering Him and becoming God's child. The ones we committed last night, or this morning.

And personally, I think Jesus has a soft spot for friends who love so well that they will move the roof tiles on behalf of another friend.  Because He loves that friend just as much, and more than they do.

Are you wracked with guilt over stumbling yet again in an area that you know to be sin?

Receive forgiveness, the forgiveness that Jesus brought about when he brought a change to the whole world order, making reconciliation possible between God and man.

Do you have a friend who needs divine healing? 

Don't give up: persist in taking that friend and his or her needs to Jesus. 

He cares about your friend's deepest needs, even more than you do.

Happy 24th Anniversary to Us!

Pin It
See the happy couple? They look so happy, don't they?

Happy, happy, happy.

You'd think they were happily celebrating their 24th wedding anniversary, wouldn't you?

On their way to a less than happy anniversary dinner.

Well, they were. And they weren't.

I started the day by knocking the very full Aeropress Coffee press that was perched on top of my coffee cup with my arm in such a way that the cup toppled off the counter spilling scalding hot coffee and coffee grounds all over the front of my bare leg and shattering my very favorite coffee mug, my Girl Scout Leader coffee mug, in a zillion little pieces. Leaving a splattery mess from the full cup of coffee, all the coffee grounds, and the smashed cup all over my kitchen floor and cabinets.

That was sad. And messy. And painful.

And then I drove my dear husband to town for his cardio class, and we managed to have words.

Now I'm sure none of YOU have ever had words with YOUR spouse, but for anyone who has ever managed to have a differing opinion from that of your mate, you might  be familiar with what I'm talking about.

 Locking horns with a Big Bison can be challenging, even for a hard headed Boonie Woman.

Eh.

Live hard. Love hard.

For 24 years, we've lived as one, and I've never regretted that decision for one moment.

Well, maybe for ONE moment...or two....but I was probably in the midst of one of the aforementioned horn locking incidents, at the time. And for those moments, I was, doubtless, out of my mind.

He exercised. I shopped. We made up. All was well.

That night, the Bison had made a dinner reservation at a Nashville eatery that made Gwyneth Paltrow's top 10 list of favorite restaurants in the world. We were both eager to try out the cuisine. The meal?

 Very disappointing.

This is not helping my relationship with Gwyneth, my frenemy. Not one bit.

You can read more about our not so happy anniversary dinner here, on The Fun Girls. Maybe I should have posted about it on The Maudlin Girls. Maybe that would have been better.

The BB and I re-negotiate terms every year on our anniversary. Before we got engaged, my Young Rock and Roll Bison Boyfriend had a stern talk with me over a cup of coffee at a restaurant late one night. He put me on notice that he wanted more than anything to make his living doing music. And that he'd seen many friends give up "the dream" and he was not going to be one of THOSE guys.

And then, he fell in love with me and got all starry eyed and stuff. :-D

And then, before we married, we agreed that we would once a year reevaluate on our anniversary. We would take a look at how the music thing was going. And if we weren't both in agreement that he needed to continue in that field. then he would find a better means of making money.

For the first seven years, while I was working for Metro Schools, I was the major bread winner in the family, and these negotiations were serious stuff.

But then I got pregnant with our son, and since that time, they've been more like me making pitiful little whimpering noises, begging him to keep going with the music thing, so that I can stay home for one more year. And thanks to God's gracious, faithful provision of work, that's what I've been able to do.

So this year, I told him that I "guessed" he could keep on doing music. And he told me that I needed to get my butt in gear and write an Ebook.

 He said he thinks I can do an ebook in 6 months. I kept trying to wrangle an entire year's worth of grace out of him. I came down to 9 months: how long it takes to give birth to a child. It seemed fitting. I'd be giving birth to a book, after all.

He reduced his offer to 5 months.

You see why we had words earlier in the day?

The man drives a hard bargain.

If writing some kind of ebook is like giving birth, then I'm probably verbally ovulating as we speak.

Now...to pray about it....

A topic WOULD be nice...

I'm open to your thoughts on the matter, if you have any.

Best Use of Summertime Tomatoes? Panzanella!

Pin It What the heck is Panzanella, you ask? The name of Cinderella's Italian love child?

Did Cinderella Succumb???

(Well...maybe...if she'd ever tasted this dish...it's entirely possible she'd want to name her firstborn after it.)

Panzanella is one of my most favorite summertime dishes, something that I consider to be one of the most essential elements of summer.  Today,  I'm going to share with you the recipe I have prepared every summer since the year 2000  (the year I purchased the Ultimate Southern Living Cookbook - but look how cheaply YOU can get it now!). I've made a few alterations, to suit our tastes, but I can promise you, this recipe gets RAVE reviews from everyone to whom I've served it.

My friend Cathy says there are two things money can't buy: true love, and home grown tomatoes. And she's pretty close to the gospel truth on that. I used to be able to grow tomatoes when we lived in Nashville, but here in the Boonies, where we have to pipe in the sunshine, we have to resort to locally grown tomatoes. And they're a close second.

The original recipe called for mozzarella cubes: and you can do that, if you prefer, but I've found already grated mozzarella to be more convenient in terms of prep work.

I've tried making the vinaigrette with both red wine vinegar and balsamic vinegar, and both are divine, so use what you think your family will prefer. I love the sweet flavor of balsamic vinegar, so that's what I generally reach for.

If you live in Nashville, this recipe SINGS when you use a loaf of Tuscan bread from Provence. It has just the right chewiness and crustiness. Ideally, that's what you want: a chewy, crusty bread: something rustic-ish, with large holes. If you don't have that, get the closest thing you can to it. It will still be good.

Also, I've reduced the amount of red onion the original recipe called for from 1 c. to 1/2 c., to suit my family. You should feel free to make whatever alterations your family will prefer as well.

This is not Provence Tuscan Bread, the bread I prefer. I think it's a Pugliese from La Brea Bakery.

Cutting up cherry tomatoes.

Adding cherry tomatoes.

Kalamata olives, red onions, cucumber.

Olives, cucumbers, onions, all in.

Basil and mozzarella, in.

Vinaigrette, poured on top.

We're mixing now.

15 minutes later, we're sitting down to eat!

Panzanella

Salad ingredients:

1/2 of a 1 lb. loaf of day old Italian bread
1 8 oz. pkg. grated mozzarella cheese
3 large tomatoes, chopped (or an equivalent amount of cherry tomatoes, halved)
1 small cucumber, chopped
1/2 c. purple onion, chopped
1/2 c. kalamata olives, pitted and halved
1/2 c. chopped fresh basil leaves (chop these near the end of your prep work, to avoid having the leaves turn brown prematurely)

Vinaigrette

1/2 c. extra virgin olive oil
1/4 c. balsamic vinegar (or red wine vinegar)
3 cloves of garlic, minced
1/2 t. freshly ground black pepper
3/4 t. salt

Combine salad ingredients in a large salad bowl and toss gently.

Combine vinaigrette ingredients and whisk till blended. Pour over salad and toss well. Let stand for 10 to 15 minutes for bread to absorb vinaigrette.

Try to restrain the natives from dipping their hands in the bowl while they wait. This will be difficult.

Serve at room temperature. My family of four devours this whole recipe, but maybe yours will act less like ravenous wolves. Good luck with that.


What is your must-have tomato recipe of the summer?